Saturday, October 13, 2007

can one person really be "EVERYTHING"??

Warning: If you become ill reading things that could be considered to be cheesy or sappy...stop now! Do not proceed! I am, and will always be, the QUEEN OF CHEESY/SAPPY LAND!

Today I am inspired.... the one thing that can ALWAYS inspire me, regardless of how I am feeling, is music. Maybe it is the vast appreciation I have for that level of creativity because I have NO musical talent whatsoever.... or maybe it is because the music we hear each and every day awakens the melodies inside of us, whether we want it to or not...
either way, today, I am inspired.

Here Albert and I sit in the bed, with several pillows, a down comforter, a huge cup of a coffee and a bowl of Special K as our only wordly possessions right now..... the air outside is crisp and cool (of course, it will be 85F before the day is over, but it's fall-like for THIS MOMENT).... and you would think I am feeling melancholy because a certain someone is not here with me. But I am not.

I have been playing Michael Buble' since I woke up...and I think that needs to be my daily ritual because his music really and truly does inspire me....

So I ask the question-- can one person really be "everything"... every where you look, you are reminded of this person-- in the cool breeze as it moves the leaves on the trees..... in the ziploc bag of pistachios sitting on my the stack of books sitting on the cedar chest, ready to be packed to sent to Herning, DK.... in the pair of boots sitting by the closet door that I last wore throughout the streets of the picture of "Mads' 5 Texas girls" that sits on my dresser smiling at me each time I awaken......are you getting the picture?? He really is everything.

Every song I hear makes me think of him. Every sound and smell coming from the coffee pot. Every piece of clothing hanging on the hangers in my closet because I have either worn the clothes somewhere with him or I have strategically thought about when I would pack that particular item to take over there and leave. Every time Emmitt walks by and stops to just look at me with a look that says "Where is he?" Again, you get the picture.

God, I miss him so much, but there are so many reminders, so many things around me in the world that he is really here. Not only in my heart but in the simple things around. So I know that "in this crazy life, and through these crazy times...It's him, it's him, he makes me sing. He's every line, he's every word, he's everything.....and whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through, And you know that's what our love can do."

So to answer my own question...yes, one person really can be EVERYTHING. My mom has been telling me this for years... but I never really and truly "got it" until now. I have always WANTED what she and my dad have... the idea of loving someone so much that you are really, in a full circle kind of way, loving I have watched them live it for 30plus years.... but thought it was something unattainable, but not anymore. Today I can honestly, without a doubt, say:
"Mom, I've got it!"

See... I warned you.. :o)


HOLMES said...

I think when you truly love someone, they become a part of you, so that eventually it is impossible to separate yourself from them. So when you hear the wind in the trees, smell flowers, make coffee... this kind of existential thing happens where it's no longer YOU doing those things, it's half of you... because the other half of you has grown around someone else.

This partnership thing runs pretty deep-- it's scary and wonderful and amazing. I'm so glad you and Mads found each other!

Nichole said...

Awe, I think it is so sweet and so heart warming to see how incredibly in love you and Mads are.

I love this Michael Buble song! Music is so powerful and from time to time that PERFECT song comes around at the PERFECT time to become another song in the soundtrack to our lives.

I'm glad you have been lucky enough to find your Everything! :o)