wonderings.....

I have had so many things going through my mind lately--some good, some bad, some neutral, but no matter which category the thoughts fit into, they all lead to creating a clutter inside my head. I sat here tonight, watching Grey's Anatomy, thinking about what is happening around me--frustrated by the things that are out of my control and invigorated by the things that I look forward to the most--and then, on the show, a man's wife died. She had to have been about 30....she fell down the stairs--a total accident-- and she punctured her lung. And she died. And then it hit me.

I can control the clutter. Hell, I can even stop the clutter. I can choose what I allow to enter my mind and for sure, what I allow to stay there because, dammit, life is too short.

Life is too short to worry about people that you interact with on a regular basis who seem hell bent on destroying every ounce of passion that you have for what you do. Life is too short to worry about people's opinions of what you do or who you are and most importantly, life is too short to let CRAP overshadow JOY.

Today I choose JOY.
I choose JOY because in EXACTLY TWO WEEKS I am getting married.
I cannot and will not allow the crap around me to distract me from that fact.
I am marrying the most incredible man on the planet.
I am marrying the person with whom I will spend the rest of my life.
I am marrying my best friend, who even though we have only known each other for a year and a month, knows me better than anyone (and loves me anyway!!).

So in your own life, WHO or WHAT is attempting to rob you from your joy? Is it financial worries? Is it a boss or a colleague that undermines everything you do? Is it a past that will not seem to turn loose of you? Well, I, personally, have had each of those things in my life and I STILL CHOOSE JOY in spite of them. I may have to wake up each day and choose it again...or I may have to close my office door every few hours and choose it again, but at the end of the day, when I lay my head on that pillow, none of that matters any longer.

All that matters is the joy I feel inside of me. The joy of knowing I am loved unconditionally and that on November 23, 2007, I will become Mrs. Mads Thellufsen Nørgaard.

After the day I have had, I am shocked to go back and read what I typed, but even more than shocked, I am encouraged. I wonder if Mads knows the power that his love has over the circumstances of life??! Maybe I should tell him?! But I have a feeling he already knows.....