You know... that JUMPING IN and making friends and then actually planning things with those friends so that your expat life feels just as great as your life back home did!
As an expat you cannot afford to sit around and wait for folks to come to you.
You cannot afford to hide in your house, afraid to venture out because you don't know anyone.
And you cannot afford to be nervous about putting yourself out there and taking a chance with folks you don't know.
And why can't you afford these things? Because being an expat can be either the LONELIEST experience of your life or the GREATEST.
You left all your friends in your hometown/home country....
so you MUST MUST MUST make new ones and they can either be other expats or "locals".
In my opinion, you need a little of both! :-)
I have met so many people since coming to Denmark...the majority have "found" me through my blog, but regardless of how we initially "met", the point is that we took the risk, got to know each other a bit and now I have a friend network that I can assure you could keep every weekend filled with things to do. That is not some kind of bragging point-- rather it is to show you that there are folks JUST LIKE YOU out there and they also need/want friends! So JUST DO IT! Jump in and find that new friend network... it will make ALL the difference wherever your expat life has brought you!
|Herning Girls' Sup(p)er Club, June 2011|
|Herning Girls' Sup(p)er Club, July 2011|
We have started a "Herning Girls' Sup(p)er Club" (yes, we are super and yes, we eat supper!) within our friend group--which includes expats who came to DK because of LOVE, expats in DK for work and yes, DANES! We decided to meet in downtown Herning for dinner once a month for dinner and a night out..... just to have something to bring us together ON PURPOSE and so that we all have something to look forward to. And the best part is that of our little group that we initially started with, the "members" are adding folks from their "other circles" so our group is growing. How FANTASTIC is that?
So wherever your expat life has brought you, JUMP IN and find your network. It is a bit scary at first, but I promise, it is WORTH EVERY FEAR once you find ladies that you connect with! Before long, we will have Sup(p)er Clubs all over the globe!
It's a fantastic idea!
That is great!! I agree! I joined a knitting clubb that gets together once a month just to be around locals. I had never knitted before!! This is norway. DD
It's not quite so easy for some people. You're clearly a sociable, interesting person and perhaps people connect with you quickly because of that.
Some are less sociable and by nature take time to make friends. They might also not be the type of person that people are naturally drawn to. This means relationships take years to build up rather than months.
We're all different. I don't think there is "one-size fits all" way of achieving what you suggest.
I know what you mean, Nuno and some of the ladies in my group are like what you describe.... so all they had to do was accept the invitation. And leave the inviting up to the crazy folks like me. So the key is that when someone does reach out to you... TAKE THE CHANCE! Sometimes you may not click with that person but more often than not, you will find a friend. I am proof of that!
But I also think that even if you are a less-sociable person, if you are an expat, you owe it to yourself to step out of your comfort zone and find new friends; otherwise, you are going to have one very lonely experience in your new country....
You are so right Kelli. When I first moved here we were living on a lonely farm in the middle of no where, in dead winter, and I had no work or school. It was really lonely! Now I have met friends through school, have met a couple of friends through my blog already, and am meeting up with you and another blogger in Denmark in the next couple of weeks. It is always scary to be the new person and have to make new friends, but it is so worth it to take the chance! And if it doesn't work out, at least you might have something to blog about :)
im definitely excited to start making friends here. im very sociable and outgoing, so i hope i can find a group of people easily.... but we'll see :)
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