About 13 months ago I got a new tattoo when we were in San Francisco. Some people plant trees or other things to remember tragic events in life; I decided to go another route.
Because 2 years ago today Mads and I were discussing possibilities for "if it's a girl" or "if it's a boy", and then 2 years ago tomorrow Mads and I were listening to the doctor tell us that my body was in the process of having a miscarriage.
I have often wondered WHY this happened to us.
WHY we were not allowed to have that precious baby as a part of our lives.
But today I think I have a bit of clarity about WHY I experienced what I did.
Clarity does not mean I have any firm answers; I just have a clearer sense of what I am supposed to learn from my experience and my healing process....... and that learning has nothing to do with me, but rather someone else in my life.
Because you see, a very dear and precious friend has just gone through the very same thing this past week. And if this had happened to her 2 years ago, I might not have known how to help her other than to be sad with her. But today I am not a victim who is remembering the tragedy that happened two years ago; rather, I am survivor that has a message of healing to share with my precious friend.
We all deal with grief in very different ways and on very different time tables.
But I do believe that one part of dealing with that grief is the SHARING of the HEALING. Many of my friends did that for me in 2009; now it is my turn.
Healing does not only come in time.
I believe that it comes as we give something of ourselves to help someone else heal.